Running...I ran yesterday evening 3 1/2 miles. It seems a far cry from my 7 that I was up to, but there's something different going on I think. I think I'm competing less with myself and performance and learning to flow with the Holy Spirit in this. I pray so anyway.

I realize that a few hours after I run I seem to get quite tired. So, I'm trying the evening runs, maybe it's a higher strategy to help me relax and sleep better. As I was running last evening I was wanting to give God all of me. Wanting to let go of organized time and the guilt if it's not.. but to live freely in the timing of the Holy Spirit. I realized that it was harder to breath last night.. the air was thick with humidity. I was thinking that when I was running 7 miles the only thing that inhibited me to stop was my knee pain as my breathing was so good. What is the better? The lower miles and healthier knees, or the painful knees racking up long miles and a greater ability to breathe... and I thought to myself... it really isn't for me to decide, if I'm flowing with the Holy Spirit, He will be my guide.

I'm studying two books right now. The Artist's Way and The Sacred Romance. Both really highlight the inner being of the Creative heart. THE HEART. living by your heart, the inner life and not by the external. I've read the Sacred Romance before and it's ministered alot to me. I picked it up and read some of it yesterday while mentoring and knew it was time to read it again. As I left my house yesterday not really knowing what I was going to be doing, I ended up at our local Christian bookstore and they had a copy of the Sacred Romance which I picked up for the girl I was mentoring and they also had the study guide, which I picked up for myself. I should be writing all this in my 'annie's happenings' http://anniedaybyday.blogspot.com/ everything is so intertwined, eh?

Those are my running thoughts today. Lord, thank You for drawing me closer. Help me to live the destiny You've created for me, In Jesus name.. amen

I Had a God Dream

I wrote this blog, 'I had a God dream' on June 28th, 2008 on another blog.

A couple of years ago I had a dream. It was a God dream. I don't have God dreams alot but when i do, I just know it is. I didn't understand everything about this dream. Much of it left me pondering....deeply thinking and praying. It was a good God dream. A personal dream. I could write a book about this dream. In a parable type way this dream covered small bits of my life span from youth 'til now... but in the dream it was just one day and unless there be revelation one would not even see that it covered such detail. The Lord is so creative! If I could only tap into a drop of that creativity. Ahh..

So, anyway, I'm just going to write about one part of my dream... the ending. At the end of this dream I was running. It was a beautiful thing. I was peace-filled and relaxed. The running was a type of freedom from all that had haunted me in my life. I dropped burdens and I ran past the lies of the enemy pertaining to past memories and fears that want to destroy me. I didn't understand this right after the dream... but now, I understand...because I am running!

The funny part of this 'whole thing' is that for years.. and I mean many years... I've been an avid advocate that I am a walker only (a speedy one though)and that I'm not a runner and never will be. The last running I did before this dream was when I was in track as a freshman in high school... and I am now 46 years old!!

After I had this dream Two Years ago, at some point I actually hurt my foot walking too fast.:( So of course from that added perspective there would be no way I would ever be a runner. I should also add the point that I live my life around 20 something woman who run on occasion... AND my friend who is my age has been a runner and I believe that's why I had the avid 'no way' attitude because it was all around me. I was determined I was not 'built' to run. (sports stores do carry MUCH better 'support systems' than they did in my freshman days so I've discovered.) ;)

I nursed my foot back to health enough to walk again. Then as I was walking with my hubby last summer we talked about a sprint/walk thingy. Hmm.. I silently thought about the dream... and decided to try it. It went ok the first few times and then uh oh...my foot was done for! And I was actually pretty disappointed because something had begun stirring in me to run. Something was changing. A lot of things were changing. Oh, yes, there's another crucial addition to this story. I'm in the throws of peri-menopause and I have been for quite some time. It may even have began more than several years ago but I just didn't recognize it. When peri is full blown emotionally however, there's no mistaking. I add this important tid bit ... because it's the tid bit that has stretched me and I do mean STRETCHED me to this point of running to avoid any type of hormone replacement and further life issues. The wonderful and wisdom filled books I've read on perimenopause speak about the new changes.. the God ordained changes that occur at this stage of life. It's like a reverse puberty and it's the beginning of the best years of your life. It's the time to take ahold of what you use to let happen and find your place and ability to stand for who you are and the things you believe. I accept that. And as hard as it's been to overcome and deal with all the emotional past circumstances and painful moments (as we all experience in life in some way or other), my husband has wonderfully jumped on board to help me through this time. What a wondeful God ordained plan. Ralph has been amazing, it's not all been sweet or fun or peace-filled, quite on the contrary for a good few years.... but it's been amazing. The promises of restoration that God gave me 6 years ago in Joel are the sprouts that I see now.

The violent take the Kingdom by force. amen

Around the beginning of May, Angie asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with her... she convinced me to jog a bit with her. I was extremely worried about my foot. But I jogged for a bit.. maybe 1/10th of a mile!! :) but I did it. The next day we went a bit farther... and from that point I just decided to press on a bit farther. Before I knew it I was up to a mile...and the story continues....

I ran 5 miles a few day ago. The next day I felt some major knee pain at 3 miles.. And I only ran 2 miles yesterday. I'm now learning how to be a disciplined runner. Today I'm resting. And? it's very difficult at this point to rest. I wanna run! I'm hooked. :) AND... I have had no problems with my feet at all!!

The Lord revealed to me a lot in such a small dream. The running amazes me, but it represents freedom. Freedom emotionally, physically and spiritually. It represents the fruition of the promises I've stood on for so many years. The promises that I've yearned for and cried many tears over waiting,waiting,waiting for what was seen in the spirit. Hebrews... Faith is the substance of things hoped for..the EVIDENCE of things not seen.

It's not finished... not by a long shot, but I can see the sprouts growing up. I can see the promises that were planted deep, deep in the darkness of my being for many years in my crying out popping up through the soil. It is the evidence of the things hoped for.

This is a compact version of my dream?and well, it was a compact dream. I'm still opening up windows of revelation through it. I've been contemplating writing a blog about it for a bit more than a week and hopefully the timing to post is good and maybe beneficial in some sort of way to someone reading this. Even though it seems a bit vague the just of this blog is that God's promises stand. In Habbukkuk He tells us not to let go of the vision, to write it down and to 'run' (ahah) with it. That it will not tarry but that it will come right on time!

At the forefront it's to His glory and an encouragement to me just to write and find myself reminiscing my life stories and God promises.

As I write there are so many things connected and so many stories I could write. Though I want to tell all because God is so intricate in His workings I can't it's too much and it's not even all revealed at this point.

I will add this one last thing which pertains to my staunch stand against me running. Last summer my friend Marsha had me over for lunch. She told me this story as I was eating delicious raspberries she had picked from her garden. She said that when she went to pick them as she looked upon her raspberry bushes she was disappointed because she couldn't see many berries and the ones she saw seemed very small and she wondered if she would have enough for our lunch. She said she then got this thought that maybe I didn't even like raspberries. And the Lord spoke back to her. "Well, there are many things that Anne thinks she doesn't like that she will find out that she does." Wow!!! God said that to her! About me! And I like raspberries. So when she told me that, it was a bit of a blank canvas to her and to me. Also, as she finished picking these fabulous raspberries there were many and they were very plump and delicious. She picked what she had and the Lord multiplied.. It was an awesome God day. Not only did He give to me that day, He used me to give to her. That day will live in eternity forever. :)

A couple of months later I realized that I was in the midst of what God had said to her. I rode with my husband on our Harley Davidson to Mt. Rushmore. That is something I could not have seen me doing and when the idea came up I knew it was time for me to press through and do this thing to conquer fears and insecurities and to begin to let go of my season of 'motherhood'. It is time for my hubby and me. I had made a few small trips with him and enjoyed them, but no way would my bum or my fears handle a 3500 mile round trip motorcycle ride! I prayed and trusted that this was God's timing. I made it through rain, fog and 110 degree weather! I couldn't even put my feet on the foot pegs the motor was so hot! (My husband was impressed!... :)...me too!) At some point on our trip I knew that this was an example of what the Lord was saying to Marsha and I told my husband the raspberry story. 'he smiled'

I had a great time on that trip... pressed through some emotional issues, but I'm ready to go again!!

And yes, I am NOW running!! That was the point here eh? Lol

Blessings :) ...continue to believe the promises He gives you...whether through tears and toil... through doubting....through weeding... through the molding and refining... and also through those blessed days of 'seeing' and believing.

Hey, I still need prayer. It's just the beginning of a new thing. :) amen

With love and appreciation for all my family and friends of faith,
anne :)

It's August 13th!!! Wow, time has flown by!

Two weeks ago I was up to 7 miles!! My knees definately were feeling that mileage. Live got busy around here with a broken shower, remodling a bedroom, switching bedrooms, the jeep going on the blink and another person moving into our already full household of 8!!

Needless to say, it's been pretty crazy around here. Things began to settle this weekend, I'm still trying to clean out, throw away and reorganize in various places.

I ran yesterday with my husband and I did 3.5 miles. I started feeling just a bit of pain on my left knee area, but not bad at all at 3.4. I think my body needed that 2 week rest so it's all good.

I wasn't going to run again until tomorrow morning as I'm running every other day now.. the everyday was just too much on my knees. My sister Addie called this afternoon to see if I wanted to run. I haven't run with anyone since Angie in May, besided my hubby. I wasn't sure how that would work out, but we did good. She stopped at 2.6 and I continued on to hopefully get 4miles in... and I did. The afternoon weather was so humid on my face that it actually was very itchy and hurt for the latter half of the run.

I haven't been keeping up in consistancy on my water intake or my vitamins so that could have had alot to do with it also. I don't think I was bothered as much while running when I was doing the water like I should have.

I will be posting a writing that I wrote up about a month ago or so on another site that I'm on. It's about my God dream about running.

Thank You Lord, You have given me MANY blessings in the running thing!

love, annie

Wow!! I can't believe it's been 11 days since I've written anything here. Alot has happened as far as my running goes. ... wow.. I just read the excitement of 2.4 miles and just two days ago I ran 51 minutes at 4.7 miles!! I shake my head and I thank my God for the endurance to continue.

Today I ran with my hubby and we did 3.6 miles in 41 minutes. He starts out soo fast and it messes me up. I was blessed today as I had a major attitude with him about an insecurity in me and he just loved me through it while we ran. :) i love him...

I still haven't weighed myself since I had gained back two pounds of the 4 that I had lost. My clothes are MUCH more comfortable now and looser!! It's noticable, so that's nice. :)

I've been running everyday. I do think at times my legs need a day to rest, but my emotional well being totally needs to get a run in everyday!! amen~! After doing these longer runs I did take a break and I ran only ...(lol, ONLY) 2 and half miles the other day. Geesh that was my celebration 11 days ago!! This truly has been fun. Thank You Lord!!

love, anne :)

Just a note to my post below.. it was 2.4 miles!!! woo hoo~ !!!

26 minutes baby!!!!

I don't know the mileage yet. I'll track that this afternoon sometime. :)

I used my husband's father's day gift that I haven't given him yet. It's an rca mp3 player. I loaded upa word that was spoken to me last year and a Joyce Meyer teaching on love. I LOVED it. I can't wait until I get my nano ipod so that I can track my 'stuff' online with Nike AND download many wonderful inpsirational teachings and music.

Well, that's all for now...

Thank You Lord for this continued growth and emotional, physical and spiritual healing in all areas of my life.. In Jesus name.. amen.

I ran 21 minutes yesterday! I didn't do any mileage but I was assuming that it was my 2 miles that I've been trying for... :)

Today I ran 22 minutes and I clocked my run at 2.1 miles!! Woo hoo! That is so amazing to me.. the 'non-runner' :) I loved it.

I started a different route yesterday... that helps alot when I change it up... I think that I don't know how it feels to end because I've never gone that way before. :) I did the same route today but added a few more tenths on it to make the 2.1 miles. I'm hoping for a 25 min run tomorrow.. or I was thinking about doing a 15 or 20 min run with a 2 min. break and then seeing what I could do after that. I'm still pondering which avenue I want to attempt. I'll contemplate it and see if I can hear what God thinks about this plan.. He does order our steps, so I'd like to follow His way, since it is the better way. :) That's why I'm running in the first place.. He ordered these steps and I saw them in my dream. Thank You Almighty God. :)

So, just a few notes of other interest. I bought my husband his Father's Day gifts today. One is an RCA sports mp3 player for when he runs on the road. It's simple with a sports band to put on his arm. I like it.. I hope he does too. AND I got him a Harley Davidson watch. He hasn't had a watch in almost a year and so this one is the watch of all watches I'm sure he'll think. :)

We started a 40 day prayer challenge for couples in march and we are still praying together.. it has been the best thing EVER for us... for me I know. What a treasure the words he prays mean to me. God sends the words down, we speak His heart back and then He moves in power. Thank You heavenly Father for this wonderful, wonderful gift. I know in these peri times I've been weird and many times angry and hateful... but You knew I would be experiencing this stuff and You have covered me. Forgive me and thank You. Bless all the words we pray together in Jesus name.. amen.

Yesterday morning I ran with my husband. We started out doing the same run I did the day before, but planned to turn back at the 1 mile mark and redo our first mile without stopping.

I was extremely winded at 15 min. which is what I had done the day before... but kept going for another two minutes. I ended not very far from my driveway but I just couldn't go any further. I was getting a diaphram pain and was beginning to feel a bit nausiated. We did 17 1/2 min. which was better than the day before... and that's good. :) I wanted to be able to do the full 20 min and finish with the two miles without stopping... maybe today, eh?

I like running with my husband, but it does throw you off a bit. Sometimes the listening of his pace (which he slowed down to run with me... but says he goes farther because of that... true), or just having a small conversation about the time or pace or where to go, etc... adds an element of obstacles it seems. It's good for training to be around others anyway. Yesterday he was cheering me on when I was running at the end, I know he was hoping to get me to our driveway and sending me encouragement for that, but I was getting irritated by it... I think once or twice would have been fine but I was so needing to focus on getting there that he was throwing me off..... that's crap, ya know... I don't want to be irritated by him cheering me on... :) It'll get better :)

so last night my knee was pretty swollen. I took a run break 2 days ago and then ran my 2 miles yesterday. the air was sooo thick it seemed as though I would only make it through half of my 1st mile. I ran with Angie. We ran an exact 9 min. mile. (I think I may have to recheck the mileage distance when putting in my last two tenths. I need to make sure they are really two tenths. Anyway... after a 2 min. break from the 1st mile we split up. I had to stop and walk about 30 seconds about 3/4 through my second mile!! my nose was plugged up and I was really breathing heavily.

So, as my knee was swollen last night I made the decision that I was not going to run this morning. .... well, I woke up with my knee in better condition that I had thought it would be. I really desired to run. I talked with Jeff and asked to borrow his new mp3 player. We downloaded a free Joyce Meyer mp3 and off I went. I decided I was just going to go for time today.. not even sure how much time as I wanted to take it easy on my knee. I started off in one of my usual routes and decided to take a new further route to see how I would endup. I suprised myself. I ran a full 15 min. and loved it!! I had the ipod set and it was awesome just listening while running!! I'm ready for my own now! I went over the mileage of where I ran this morning and it was 1.4 miles. So I ran almost 1 and 1/2 miles without stopping. I'm happy with that...as my goal right now is to do 2 miles without stopping.

My running shoes are Nike Air Pegasus and they come with a monitor that hooks up to a nano ipod. I am going to purchase an ipod now and download great teaching mp3s and great music to run with . The ipod tracks my mileage, calories, improvements and also gives me goals and etc. I'm looking forward to seeing how I progress throughout the rest of the summer.

I will talk about my summer allergies a bit as I fight the elements also. Always a challenge in my life it seems when summer hits. I'm ready to run tomorrow!! However Jeff will have his ipod with him. I will be running without... until I get mine.

the allergies..... where do I begin?? Summer has been a challenge for me since I was pretty young. I lived on a lake all of my childhood and until and married at 19. I remember swimming at one of my Grams' friends house on a styrofoam raft and that was the first time I remember breaking out from swimming. It seems from that time on I experienced breaking out. We didn't really discover that the allergy actually came from the lake water. I was on a strict food and sun diet for most of the summer. Then one day I took a little friend wading at the lake and my legs broke out..we knew then that it was the lake that I was allergic to. That was unfortunate because I LOVED swimming as a child. I still remember what the posts under the docks looked like as i swam like a fish underwater.

I also experienced MANY sunburns as a child and when I was 18 I began to experience an edema in my face from too much sun exposure and an allergic reaction to sweat on my face, especially in humid conditions. If I get a sunburn on my face, neck or shoulders I need to ice myself for a good 24 hours to keep the heat from staying in my skin and causing an edema. If the edema happens then I break out in very, very tiny blisters and my face swells like I have a severe case of poison ivy. After about a week of the most uncomfortable skin irritation the skin on my face begins to dry up and begins to shaffe off. My knew skin is beautiful and soft... I think it might be some type of 'dermabrasion' :). I have not had it happen in years as I'm extremely careful when out in the sun. I begin my spring in the tanner. When I begin to tan I tan for about 2 1/2 min. the first time. Then to five and it may take a couple of weeks to get up to the full 20 min. That tends to give me a type of immunity to the potential of a quick sunburn. I also have to watch getting too hot when it's humid and my face can't dry itself. As soon as I'm done with my run I am in the shower cleaning my own sweat off of my face because it acts like an irritant. I wonder if more humid conditions may carry a larger quantitiy of pollens in the air that would tend to irritate my skin also. After I shower, it can take a good hour for my reddened face to finally get back to a normal skin tone.

Thanks for listening...even if it is just you and me Lord.... :) I am noticing changes and I thank You! I'm asking for healthy knees.. just as You have touched my feet... and I'm asking for tolerance to the heat... and I'm asking for more miles and continued improvement in my emotions and furthering my distance AND to be 'fat free'!!! :) ahh....
Love, anne

I'm at Two miles!!!! :) wooo hooo!

Monday I ran my a mile... took a two minute break and started off to see how far I could go from there. I made the second mile which blew me away! So, each day since Monday I have done the same. My knees have definately been affected by this running thing so I have iced them everyday. Yesterday morning my husband ran with me the first mile. He's a bit faster than I, having alot of heighth on me. So I took off first. He caught up with me at about a half mile and then slowed down a bit, we ran at his pace most of the next half mile so that pushed me some. Unfortunatley we didn't happen to time it that day so I don't know how much faster I was. My miles have been at 9 min. but I know this one was a bit faster.

I took today off. I really don't want to injure myself to the point of not being able to run. I do want to continue to run the two miles to take some weight off. I know I've gained alot of muscles in my legs and they look much better, but that really doesn't help out if your trying to watch the scales. So, I know I need to give up scale watching AGAIN and really just try to feel the trimming and toning through how my clothes look and feel on me.

My hubby bought new running shoes this weekend, which he definately needed. We both got a nice running suit and some t's and shorts. I'm looking forward to this bringing us even closer. Sharing this experience together. He is faster than I am, but he isn't doing the whole two miles yet.. so if I can take the headstart and then we can run out the rest of the first mile together that will be great. He's a great cheerleader when he get's ahead of me anyway. :)

I'm still dealing with emotional issues and sometimes in the middle of a run I will end up crying over some issue. But that's only been a couple of times.

My goal right now is to get body fat eliminated. I think that's a pretty big goal, but it can be done... if my knees hold out for me!! I'm an apple shape and so I don't hold the excess weight so much in my legs and butt like a 'normal' woman... I end up with it in my mid section from my upper arms, back, breasts on down to my hips. My legs have muscled up nicely and I've had a butt lift for sure! lol.. I've definately toned in my mid section as my family has noticed, but it's not where I desire it to be. I've never really accomplished it to the complete of how toned I have desired to be. So at this stage I'm really determined to get there. It's makes summers much more comfortable and life less hindered when fat isn't an issue.

What a waste of time fat can be. I realized going through the closet, trying on and then taking off to find something that looks a bit bette that I'm wasting so much time. And then there's the time at some point putting all those discarded clothes back on hangers or back in the drawers. It's truly a waste of time.. of precious God given time. I dont' want to waist that kind of time anymore. :)

Well, I think that's all for now. I'm excited to run my two miles again tomorrow!! I'm praying for healthy, fat burning runs.

thank You Lord for this opportunity...and for all that You are showing me. In Jesus name...
love, anne

So, I took two days off. It was a nice rest... I did, however, move living room furniture and clean furniture.

I've been reading up on running. I bought a runners world magazine and then visited the sites online. after reading through it I am happy that I'm going to be able to build my endurance up without feeling guilty about the time it takes. They spoke in the magazine of how when you accomplish that first mile it's such a milestone. That was cool, because I was so amazed that I was even close to running a mile, let alone finding out that I could run a whole mile!

I learned also that when I begin to feel pain after the run I should cut my mileage back... geesh, I'm only at a mile there's not much to cut back eh? My knees have been pretty sore. I feel like an OLD.. (haha.. yes I am 46..but I mean really OLD!) lady. I have also been running every day for a few weeks and the past two days were my first days off. So, yeah I've learned that I need to rest. I'm going to keep up with my mile and then I'm going to do the 1min. run then 1min. walk to get my endurance up to two miles.

I also learned that I eat alot of the right foods for runners, that was cool! I need to limit my fridge stock up for a while and keep to basics. My hubby started running with me and he's just eating simple foods also.. so it's really a great blessing happening for the two of us. :) I am loving thinking back to my dream as I ran and just knowing it was so vivid and seemed so much like God was speaking to me through it. Which is why when I later began to get the desire to run and I ended up hurting my foot as it was soo disappointing for me. Just running a mile is huge for me and sooo confirming with the dream... but even now having a desire to up my miles just seems so wow! I never thought that at age 46 would be when I would begin to run. So, close to 50 ya know? So much like the time in your life when you slow down, not speed up. But the GREAT books on perimenopause which encourage you to change things up and take a new look at healthier living to try to stay off of hormones speak very much about this season being the best ever! Whew!! that would be amazing and wonderful. And I am beginning to feel the wonderful benefits!

Also, on March 22, one day before my 46th birthday my husband introduced the concept that he had heard about on FOX news on couples who pray. It was Louise Duart a famous comedian and her husband speaking about it. The Lord really touched my husband's heart in that as another process in getting me through this tumultuous time. In over two months we've only missed ONE day of prayer!!!! It is truly the hand of God!

The challenge is to pray together for a minimum of five minutes every day for 40 days and see where that concept of bringing God into that most intimate place between a man and woman which is being in conversation with God!! I have to say that in this season in my life the smooth road did not come easily!!! This whole me, God and my husband being on the same page is a fight satan has had his hand in since we gave our hearts to God 20 something years ago. Also many situations throughout my 46 years seem to have come to surface during this time. (I understand now that is a common occurance at peri menopause..but you many times think it's just you and you're losing your mind!) I thank God for initiating this prayer time in my husband. He's surely been through some stuff as I have not been the same smiling, God is in control, it'll all be allright, que se ra, only react at pms time woman! :) But, in saying all that.... he figured it surely couldn't hurt and God spoke to his heart... that IT IS what will work. My husband doing this is a great miracle in itself!! He's a man of awe of the Creator, but as far as showing a walk of faith everyday infront of anyone has been a struggle. I've always taken the role spiritually, well because it seemed it was up to me. I took my kids to church and they witnessed my growth and struggles in trying to follow the path I felt God leading me in. I really never backed down on showing my kids that God is God and He desires to have a relationship with each and everyone of us. I wanted my kids to know Him personally. I have prayed for the generations after me and God has heard my heart's cry.... because it's His heart's cry! :)

I pretty much fell apart in that area also along with everything else. Thank God, my husband has stuck it out with me (even though many times it seemed there were no more answers) through the seriously CRAP, emotionally,downright UGLY moments! I smile as I write as I think of the times I've 'stuck it out with him' also.

So, I guess I've journaled a lot here. Could be an bit of an intro to the dream. Right now I don't really have any people reading this. :) It's just a place for me to figure out my thoughts about perimenopause, the dream and this running thing. I'm so thankful to God for bringing me through these tumultuous days the past few years. Alot of healing of past issues going on. I wouldn't recommend the process to anyone, cuz it hurts... alot... but in this moment ... today... this hour I am seeing how it's a healing process. Which leads me to the end of my dream. This had no connection as far as 'movie screen type dream', to my dream... but at the very end, the screen went black...like a black computer screen and then there we these white letters that were forming a word. I n n o c u l a t e.

I remember thinking as I was in that half sleep... I need to write that word down. I don't know what that word means and if I don't write it down, Satan is going to steel it from me. I won't remember it when I wake up. I was soo tired that I couldn't/didn't get up and write it down, but I remember praying to the Lord that He would let me remember it when I really awoke. And He did!! A few hours later when I awoke for the day I remembered the word. I looked it up and....

I'll give my thoughts on that another time. :)

Lovin' the life in Him!!

I just started running a few weeks ago. This is a girl who last ran her runs as a freshman in high school. I was a sprinter... not a great one, but one. Did a couple relays. Because of the size issue above my waist, it just had never been a fun thing to do.

These days they have much better support systems! :)

So, a staunch advocate of walking.. walking fast, but no way would I ever run... a couple of years ago, I had a dream. It was a dream that you just know is from God. I dont' have God dreams alot (that I know of) but this dream was... and at the end of this dream I was running. I was finally free.

Around the time of this dream I had hurt my foot by walking too fast... it had healed a bit and then I began doing a walk and then sprint. I really did my foot in with that combination. I was a sad, because when I began to run I felt as though the dream was coming to pass and that yes, it was from God. Many things have been going on.. the whole perimenopause 'stuff', crazy church happenings and the decision to leave, family dynamics changing (I can soo see the good in that area), and just 'stuff' :).

So, I was walking with Ang a few weeks ago. She had began running again after having Abby. She coaxed me into running a bit with her. I was nervous about my foot, thinking, "If I screw this up I won't even be able to walk."

Me and no movement = fat!!! So not good.

I've written about the distance progression as far as the 8/10ths...and then the mile. I'm still at a mile... have done it everyday. My husband is running with me now when he's home. That feels good. I did a sprint today at the end... he and I were both impressed. I'm still dealing with a tiny bit of foot soreness and my knees are killer when I first start out. They just feel a bit sore and very heavy. I finally felt a little burn again in my lungs today during the sprint. My hubby says I went over a mile with that. Maybe that will help to shed some more fat if I sprint a time or two at the end now.

This running is mostly about trying to get the peri fluctuations a bit normalized... but that's not the only reason... I just really desire to be very fit. It would help me to press through the issues that haunt me.

I've begun to watch to Beth Moore's Wed. teachings on the net every couple of days. The Word being taught by her is soo inspiring. Very needed also right now. :)

Well, I have laundry to finish up.

So, it's now May 23rd. Friday in the year 2008. This morning I ran 1 mile. That was my fourth consecutive day of running a mile. Prior to that I was running 1/8th of a mile, yet didn't realize it was that much. :) So, I'd say it's been approximately 3 weeks since I started running. I've lost 4 lbs.. I weighed two days ago. I have a bit of a phobia with weighing. :(

My son called me 'skinny' yesterday before he left for his 4 day weekend vacation. I told him I could feel it, but the scales only showed 4 lbs. He said that the rest was muscle built up and that my legs looked really toned. That was nice to hear.

I still don't really know how to introduce the dream I had a couple of years ago. Each day lately I have finally 'seen' God in this thing. It's so not just about running...it's about pressing on and fighting for what you want deep in your heart. It's about God speaking a word of revelation to you, whether it be only an intimate heart conversation with Him, a dream He gives you or through the confirmation of a word from someone else...and it's about holding onto that word even when the storms come and everything seems to have been washed away... though it seems that it is lost in the waves in the sea somewhere.. God is bigger than the waves and He is bigger than the sea. He can retrieve a dream from any washed up storm.

Sometimes that dream doesn't come the way we think it should. Sometimes the whole stinkin' thing seems sooo messed up. After waiting and waiting when it comes... it comes as an absolute that it could have only come by the Hand of God. Sometimes.. that's why we wait. And we wait... and we wait. It's for the greater glory. I feel as though one area of my life has been cheated soo soo much... but just recently... in this running I am seeing His glory coming to fruition in it. I've wanted to taste it for way too many years... and I'm beginnig to taste the fruit. I'm looking forward to tasting the fullness of the ripened fruit. Or maybe, just maybe I am, but I've been too jilted to even let myself just bask in what is there...maybe it is full already.

My foot is doing fairly well with this running, but I am starting to feel some tension in my knees. Though my insides yearn to run at least a half mile more soon... I know I need to wait... wait... and just let my body deal with the miracle of 1 mile a day. :)

Thank You Lord... for 'the dream' and for all the things you've birthed in my heart and how You have shown Yourself Faithful and True at the end of each waiting.

Love, anne :)

transistions

I was out walking with my daughter the other day. She coaxed me into running. (a smart slow jog) I tried running last year. I had been doing a VERY fast walk and my foot was acting up a bit. I then started doing a sprint/walk and that pretty much put me out of commission. No walking or anything. It was tough. I was pretty upset as I NEEDED to exercise, yet couldn't. By late summer however I had nursed my foot back into pretty good health, but I was also believing I wouldn't ever try running again.

The significance of this whole thing began with a dream I had a couple of years ago. I'm in the throws of perimenopause. My symptoms are more emotional than physical for the most part. It's been a fight trying to stay sane and stay away from hormone replacement. I think my dream had much to do with this season in my life and getting the old 'life' junk completely removed from my system. A new season for sure!

I'm off for a run/jog in just a few. I'm up to one mile already! It seems soo impossible. Within two weeks of jogging everyday I was running 8/10s of a mile and I thought it might have been maybe a quarter to 1/3rd! We clocked it a couple of days ago and it was an 8th of a mile! Yesterday I got my mile in! wow. And last night I jogged/walked with my daughter a mile.

This isn't just a blog about running...it's about life, it's about recovery, it's about new seasons and transitions.

... gotta 'run'. :)