So, I took two days off. It was a nice rest... I did, however, move living room furniture and clean furniture.

I've been reading up on running. I bought a runners world magazine and then visited the sites online. after reading through it I am happy that I'm going to be able to build my endurance up without feeling guilty about the time it takes. They spoke in the magazine of how when you accomplish that first mile it's such a milestone. That was cool, because I was so amazed that I was even close to running a mile, let alone finding out that I could run a whole mile!

I learned also that when I begin to feel pain after the run I should cut my mileage back... geesh, I'm only at a mile there's not much to cut back eh? My knees have been pretty sore. I feel like an OLD.. (haha.. yes I am 46..but I mean really OLD!) lady. I have also been running every day for a few weeks and the past two days were my first days off. So, yeah I've learned that I need to rest. I'm going to keep up with my mile and then I'm going to do the 1min. run then 1min. walk to get my endurance up to two miles.

I also learned that I eat alot of the right foods for runners, that was cool! I need to limit my fridge stock up for a while and keep to basics. My hubby started running with me and he's just eating simple foods also.. so it's really a great blessing happening for the two of us. :) I am loving thinking back to my dream as I ran and just knowing it was so vivid and seemed so much like God was speaking to me through it. Which is why when I later began to get the desire to run and I ended up hurting my foot as it was soo disappointing for me. Just running a mile is huge for me and sooo confirming with the dream... but even now having a desire to up my miles just seems so wow! I never thought that at age 46 would be when I would begin to run. So, close to 50 ya know? So much like the time in your life when you slow down, not speed up. But the GREAT books on perimenopause which encourage you to change things up and take a new look at healthier living to try to stay off of hormones speak very much about this season being the best ever! Whew!! that would be amazing and wonderful. And I am beginning to feel the wonderful benefits!

Also, on March 22, one day before my 46th birthday my husband introduced the concept that he had heard about on FOX news on couples who pray. It was Louise Duart a famous comedian and her husband speaking about it. The Lord really touched my husband's heart in that as another process in getting me through this tumultuous time. In over two months we've only missed ONE day of prayer!!!! It is truly the hand of God!

The challenge is to pray together for a minimum of five minutes every day for 40 days and see where that concept of bringing God into that most intimate place between a man and woman which is being in conversation with God!! I have to say that in this season in my life the smooth road did not come easily!!! This whole me, God and my husband being on the same page is a fight satan has had his hand in since we gave our hearts to God 20 something years ago. Also many situations throughout my 46 years seem to have come to surface during this time. (I understand now that is a common occurance at peri menopause..but you many times think it's just you and you're losing your mind!) I thank God for initiating this prayer time in my husband. He's surely been through some stuff as I have not been the same smiling, God is in control, it'll all be allright, que se ra, only react at pms time woman! :) But, in saying all that.... he figured it surely couldn't hurt and God spoke to his heart... that IT IS what will work. My husband doing this is a great miracle in itself!! He's a man of awe of the Creator, but as far as showing a walk of faith everyday infront of anyone has been a struggle. I've always taken the role spiritually, well because it seemed it was up to me. I took my kids to church and they witnessed my growth and struggles in trying to follow the path I felt God leading me in. I really never backed down on showing my kids that God is God and He desires to have a relationship with each and everyone of us. I wanted my kids to know Him personally. I have prayed for the generations after me and God has heard my heart's cry.... because it's His heart's cry! :)

I pretty much fell apart in that area also along with everything else. Thank God, my husband has stuck it out with me (even though many times it seemed there were no more answers) through the seriously CRAP, emotionally,downright UGLY moments! I smile as I write as I think of the times I've 'stuck it out with him' also.

So, I guess I've journaled a lot here. Could be an bit of an intro to the dream. Right now I don't really have any people reading this. :) It's just a place for me to figure out my thoughts about perimenopause, the dream and this running thing. I'm so thankful to God for bringing me through these tumultuous days the past few years. Alot of healing of past issues going on. I wouldn't recommend the process to anyone, cuz it hurts... alot... but in this moment ... today... this hour I am seeing how it's a healing process. Which leads me to the end of my dream. This had no connection as far as 'movie screen type dream', to my dream... but at the very end, the screen went black...like a black computer screen and then there we these white letters that were forming a word. I n n o c u l a t e.

I remember thinking as I was in that half sleep... I need to write that word down. I don't know what that word means and if I don't write it down, Satan is going to steel it from me. I won't remember it when I wake up. I was soo tired that I couldn't/didn't get up and write it down, but I remember praying to the Lord that He would let me remember it when I really awoke. And He did!! A few hours later when I awoke for the day I remembered the word. I looked it up and....

I'll give my thoughts on that another time. :)

Lovin' the life in Him!!

I just started running a few weeks ago. This is a girl who last ran her runs as a freshman in high school. I was a sprinter... not a great one, but one. Did a couple relays. Because of the size issue above my waist, it just had never been a fun thing to do.

These days they have much better support systems! :)

So, a staunch advocate of walking.. walking fast, but no way would I ever run... a couple of years ago, I had a dream. It was a dream that you just know is from God. I dont' have God dreams alot (that I know of) but this dream was... and at the end of this dream I was running. I was finally free.

Around the time of this dream I had hurt my foot by walking too fast... it had healed a bit and then I began doing a walk and then sprint. I really did my foot in with that combination. I was a sad, because when I began to run I felt as though the dream was coming to pass and that yes, it was from God. Many things have been going on.. the whole perimenopause 'stuff', crazy church happenings and the decision to leave, family dynamics changing (I can soo see the good in that area), and just 'stuff' :).

So, I was walking with Ang a few weeks ago. She had began running again after having Abby. She coaxed me into running a bit with her. I was nervous about my foot, thinking, "If I screw this up I won't even be able to walk."

Me and no movement = fat!!! So not good.

I've written about the distance progression as far as the 8/10ths...and then the mile. I'm still at a mile... have done it everyday. My husband is running with me now when he's home. That feels good. I did a sprint today at the end... he and I were both impressed. I'm still dealing with a tiny bit of foot soreness and my knees are killer when I first start out. They just feel a bit sore and very heavy. I finally felt a little burn again in my lungs today during the sprint. My hubby says I went over a mile with that. Maybe that will help to shed some more fat if I sprint a time or two at the end now.

This running is mostly about trying to get the peri fluctuations a bit normalized... but that's not the only reason... I just really desire to be very fit. It would help me to press through the issues that haunt me.

I've begun to watch to Beth Moore's Wed. teachings on the net every couple of days. The Word being taught by her is soo inspiring. Very needed also right now. :)

Well, I have laundry to finish up.

So, it's now May 23rd. Friday in the year 2008. This morning I ran 1 mile. That was my fourth consecutive day of running a mile. Prior to that I was running 1/8th of a mile, yet didn't realize it was that much. :) So, I'd say it's been approximately 3 weeks since I started running. I've lost 4 lbs.. I weighed two days ago. I have a bit of a phobia with weighing. :(

My son called me 'skinny' yesterday before he left for his 4 day weekend vacation. I told him I could feel it, but the scales only showed 4 lbs. He said that the rest was muscle built up and that my legs looked really toned. That was nice to hear.

I still don't really know how to introduce the dream I had a couple of years ago. Each day lately I have finally 'seen' God in this thing. It's so not just about running...it's about pressing on and fighting for what you want deep in your heart. It's about God speaking a word of revelation to you, whether it be only an intimate heart conversation with Him, a dream He gives you or through the confirmation of a word from someone else...and it's about holding onto that word even when the storms come and everything seems to have been washed away... though it seems that it is lost in the waves in the sea somewhere.. God is bigger than the waves and He is bigger than the sea. He can retrieve a dream from any washed up storm.

Sometimes that dream doesn't come the way we think it should. Sometimes the whole stinkin' thing seems sooo messed up. After waiting and waiting when it comes... it comes as an absolute that it could have only come by the Hand of God. Sometimes.. that's why we wait. And we wait... and we wait. It's for the greater glory. I feel as though one area of my life has been cheated soo soo much... but just recently... in this running I am seeing His glory coming to fruition in it. I've wanted to taste it for way too many years... and I'm beginnig to taste the fruit. I'm looking forward to tasting the fullness of the ripened fruit. Or maybe, just maybe I am, but I've been too jilted to even let myself just bask in what is there...maybe it is full already.

My foot is doing fairly well with this running, but I am starting to feel some tension in my knees. Though my insides yearn to run at least a half mile more soon... I know I need to wait... wait... and just let my body deal with the miracle of 1 mile a day. :)

Thank You Lord... for 'the dream' and for all the things you've birthed in my heart and how You have shown Yourself Faithful and True at the end of each waiting.

Love, anne :)

transistions

I was out walking with my daughter the other day. She coaxed me into running. (a smart slow jog) I tried running last year. I had been doing a VERY fast walk and my foot was acting up a bit. I then started doing a sprint/walk and that pretty much put me out of commission. No walking or anything. It was tough. I was pretty upset as I NEEDED to exercise, yet couldn't. By late summer however I had nursed my foot back into pretty good health, but I was also believing I wouldn't ever try running again.

The significance of this whole thing began with a dream I had a couple of years ago. I'm in the throws of perimenopause. My symptoms are more emotional than physical for the most part. It's been a fight trying to stay sane and stay away from hormone replacement. I think my dream had much to do with this season in my life and getting the old 'life' junk completely removed from my system. A new season for sure!

I'm off for a run/jog in just a few. I'm up to one mile already! It seems soo impossible. Within two weeks of jogging everyday I was running 8/10s of a mile and I thought it might have been maybe a quarter to 1/3rd! We clocked it a couple of days ago and it was an 8th of a mile! Yesterday I got my mile in! wow. And last night I jogged/walked with my daughter a mile.

This isn't just a blog about running...it's about life, it's about recovery, it's about new seasons and transitions.

... gotta 'run'. :)