I wrote this blog, 'I had a God dream' on June 28th, 2008 on another blog.
A couple of years ago I had a dream. It was a God dream. I don't have God dreams alot but when i do, I just know it is. I didn't understand everything about this dream. Much of it left me pondering....deeply thinking and praying. It was a good God dream. A personal dream. I could write a book about this dream. In a parable type way this dream covered small bits of my life span from youth 'til now... but in the dream it was just one day and unless there be revelation one would not even see that it covered such detail. The Lord is so creative! If I could only tap into a drop of that creativity. Ahh..
So, anyway, I'm just going to write about one part of my dream... the ending. At the end of this dream I was running. It was a beautiful thing. I was peace-filled and relaxed. The running was a type of freedom from all that had haunted me in my life. I dropped burdens and I ran past the lies of the enemy pertaining to past memories and fears that want to destroy me. I didn't understand this right after the dream... but now, I understand...because I am running!
The funny part of this 'whole thing' is that for years.. and I mean many years... I've been an avid advocate that I am a walker only (a speedy one though)and that I'm not a runner and never will be. The last running I did before this dream was when I was in track as a freshman in high school... and I am now 46 years old!!
After I had this dream Two Years ago, at some point I actually hurt my foot walking too fast.:( So of course from that added perspective there would be no way I would ever be a runner. I should also add the point that I live my life around 20 something woman who run on occasion... AND my friend who is my age has been a runner and I believe that's why I had the avid 'no way' attitude because it was all around me. I was determined I was not 'built' to run. (sports stores do carry MUCH better 'support systems' than they did in my freshman days so I've discovered.) ;)
I nursed my foot back to health enough to walk again. Then as I was walking with my hubby last summer we talked about a sprint/walk thingy. Hmm.. I silently thought about the dream... and decided to try it. It went ok the first few times and then uh oh...my foot was done for! And I was actually pretty disappointed because something had begun stirring in me to run. Something was changing. A lot of things were changing. Oh, yes, there's another crucial addition to this story. I'm in the throws of peri-menopause and I have been for quite some time. It may even have began more than several years ago but I just didn't recognize it. When peri is full blown emotionally however, there's no mistaking. I add this important tid bit ... because it's the tid bit that has stretched me and I do mean STRETCHED me to this point of running to avoid any type of hormone replacement and further life issues. The wonderful and wisdom filled books I've read on perimenopause speak about the new changes.. the God ordained changes that occur at this stage of life. It's like a reverse puberty and it's the beginning of the best years of your life. It's the time to take ahold of what you use to let happen and find your place and ability to stand for who you are and the things you believe. I accept that. And as hard as it's been to overcome and deal with all the emotional past circumstances and painful moments (as we all experience in life in some way or other), my husband has wonderfully jumped on board to help me through this time. What a wondeful God ordained plan. Ralph has been amazing, it's not all been sweet or fun or peace-filled, quite on the contrary for a good few years.... but it's been amazing. The promises of restoration that God gave me 6 years ago in Joel are the sprouts that I see now.
The violent take the Kingdom by force. amen
Around the beginning of May, Angie asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with her... she convinced me to jog a bit with her. I was extremely worried about my foot. But I jogged for a bit.. maybe 1/10th of a mile!! :) but I did it. The next day we went a bit farther... and from that point I just decided to press on a bit farther. Before I knew it I was up to a mile...and the story continues....
I ran 5 miles a few day ago. The next day I felt some major knee pain at 3 miles.. And I only ran 2 miles yesterday. I'm now learning how to be a disciplined runner. Today I'm resting. And? it's very difficult at this point to rest. I wanna run! I'm hooked. :) AND... I have had no problems with my feet at all!!
The Lord revealed to me a lot in such a small dream. The running amazes me, but it represents freedom. Freedom emotionally, physically and spiritually. It represents the fruition of the promises I've stood on for so many years. The promises that I've yearned for and cried many tears over waiting,waiting,waiting for what was seen in the spirit. Hebrews... Faith is the substance of things hoped for..the EVIDENCE of things not seen.
It's not finished... not by a long shot, but I can see the sprouts growing up. I can see the promises that were planted deep, deep in the darkness of my being for many years in my crying out popping up through the soil. It is the evidence of the things hoped for.
This is a compact version of my dream?and well, it was a compact dream. I'm still opening up windows of revelation through it. I've been contemplating writing a blog about it for a bit more than a week and hopefully the timing to post is good and maybe beneficial in some sort of way to someone reading this. Even though it seems a bit vague the just of this blog is that God's promises stand. In Habbukkuk He tells us not to let go of the vision, to write it down and to 'run' (ahah) with it. That it will not tarry but that it will come right on time!
At the forefront it's to His glory and an encouragement to me just to write and find myself reminiscing my life stories and God promises.
As I write there are so many things connected and so many stories I could write. Though I want to tell all because God is so intricate in His workings I can't it's too much and it's not even all revealed at this point.
I will add this one last thing which pertains to my staunch stand against me running. Last summer my friend Marsha had me over for lunch. She told me this story as I was eating delicious raspberries she had picked from her garden. She said that when she went to pick them as she looked upon her raspberry bushes she was disappointed because she couldn't see many berries and the ones she saw seemed very small and she wondered if she would have enough for our lunch. She said she then got this thought that maybe I didn't even like raspberries. And the Lord spoke back to her. "Well, there are many things that Anne thinks she doesn't like that she will find out that she does." Wow!!! God said that to her! About me! And I like raspberries. So when she told me that, it was a bit of a blank canvas to her and to me. Also, as she finished picking these fabulous raspberries there were many and they were very plump and delicious. She picked what she had and the Lord multiplied.. It was an awesome God day. Not only did He give to me that day, He used me to give to her. That day will live in eternity forever. :)
A couple of months later I realized that I was in the midst of what God had said to her. I rode with my husband on our Harley Davidson to Mt. Rushmore. That is something I could not have seen me doing and when the idea came up I knew it was time for me to press through and do this thing to conquer fears and insecurities and to begin to let go of my season of 'motherhood'. It is time for my hubby and me. I had made a few small trips with him and enjoyed them, but no way would my bum or my fears handle a 3500 mile round trip motorcycle ride! I prayed and trusted that this was God's timing. I made it through rain, fog and 110 degree weather! I couldn't even put my feet on the foot pegs the motor was so hot! (My husband was impressed!... :)...me too!) At some point on our trip I knew that this was an example of what the Lord was saying to Marsha and I told my husband the raspberry story. 'he smiled'
I had a great time on that trip... pressed through some emotional issues, but I'm ready to go again!!
And yes, I am NOW running!! That was the point here eh? Lol
Blessings :) ...continue to believe the promises He gives you...whether through tears and toil... through doubting....through weeding... through the molding and refining... and also through those blessed days of 'seeing' and believing.
Hey, I still need prayer. It's just the beginning of a new thing. :) amen
With love and appreciation for all my family and friends of faith,
anne :)
